Since my campaign links for t-shirts failed miserably, probably because I forgot to put up a shipping address, I thought of new ways to boost my shady tiny link monkey business.
The recent trend to SEO cannibalism (SEOs outing their former clients for inbound links which the SEO agency purchased, fabricated, stole, faked, or bartered on behalf of said ungrateful clients; as well as SEOs outing other SEOs with no purpose other than getting rightfully slammed for being assclowns) inspired me to start this auction:
Get yourself an inbound link!
This a.w.e.s.o.m.e. inbound link goes to the highest bidder:
TOP NOTCH INBOUND LINK ™
Of course I can’t ship the whole link, just the value of the HREF attribute, and only the left part before the #. You can use this URI on every page you own. Search engines will love you for your relevant linkage, because this site provides value for every industry and each niche within.
Here’s the deal: You bid a fortune in the comments, and if I decide to sell you my awesome link, I’ll cut the bold part of
<a href="http://sebastians-pamphlets.com/#home”>TOP NOTCH INBOUND LINK</a>
out of my source code and email it to you in exchange for your bucks. You get a great URI to spread, and my link on this page will still work without all this protocol, server name and trailing slash stuff. That’s clearly a WIN-WIN situation, isn’t it?
If you’re not a professional Inbound Marketer, here’s a protip: in your bid admit that you’re a complete douchebag. I understand that spelling the meaningless term ‘Inbound Marketer’ is way too complicated, therefore I’ll accept ‘douchebag’ as a valid job title.
Not an inbound marketer?
Don’t panic. Of course I sell links to outbound marketers, too:
TOP NOTCH OUTBOUND LINK ®
The deal is the same, with one exception: I still accept great t-shirts (XXXL) for outgoing links pointing to my pamphlets.
Terms and conditions
Don’t you think that not participating in my link auction saves you from underground marketing activities (formerly known as email spam) in your inbox or my graffiti on your SERPs (formerly known as webspam). If you don’t bid, I’ll unleash my cookies!
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Purchase yourself a link (bargain!)
